WalkWithFxafa-How can I love you right?

As of now, all that is on my mind is the realization that it is one thing to love a person and a completely different thing to love the person right! 

As in, it is one thing for me to love you to the best of my ability in my understanding and it is a different thing for you to see, accept, interprete and appreciate it as love. And this is a big problem in relationships whether by blood or affinity! 

-A parent can love their child in a way that the child does not understand, appreciate or accept as love. 

-A husband/wife can love their spouse in a way that does not satisfy them irrespective of the effort put in by the loving partner or the quality therein. 

-A friend might not also love in a way that makes sense to the other! 

But for now, I'm more concerned with the one that affects couples! 

This brings me to the question; have you ever asked your partner how he/she wants to be loved? Have you ever asked him/her if your love satisfies them? 

Our partners can love us but we also can be unsatisfied with their love! They also can be unsatisfied with the way we express our love to them!

Some of us don't even know the kind of conversations that interests our partners! And sometimes, even when we do, we don't care! We create a loophole for the enemy to creep in! As in, we'll just allow that room for someone else or some people or even some things to occupy it. Typical example; men who love football love to watch it with like minds or at least, someone with some kind of interest in the sport in order to enjoy it. My fellow sister will not only show her disinterest in it but will also express her hate sending her partner out there to the company of strangers! As in, people whose views and opinions might not align with theirs. My dear, what stops you from learning to love it or show some interest in it? It is from small football with the boys that other ideas can creep in to his head! I mean, do you know who those people are and the circumstances of their upbringing, their views and opinions on life and all?

Cover the gabs as much as you can! You are supposed to be the companion suitable for one another! He/she should be satisfied in your company! A person's heart is with the one that meet his/her needs!  And if your wife will rather call someone else when she feels the need to talk, my brother, "e don be for you"!

That's how most problems brew in an otherwise peaceful relationship. 

Have you ever taken the time to explain your acts of love to your partners/ friends or even children? Like, have you ever said something like "Baby, I cooked this food just because I know you love it and I want to make you happy because I love you" Or that, "I never liked so, so and so but I taught my self to love it once I saw how much you are in to it"? 

I believe that since we are two whole individuals, raised under different circumstances, formed in to one, who have to agree to achieve any form of progress what so ever, we have to communicate these things to let our partners understand us and accept our attempts at expressing our most sincere feeling of love towards them, else, we'll just be acting in futility and this may create hate, resentment and discouragement in your relationship. 

If you ask me, one of the most sincere questions intending couples should be asking is; "what is your love language?" Because that interprete as "how do you want me to love you? "

My dear, you can't be making love to a morning person at night and expect him/her to be completely into it for both of you to be satisfied when all he/she is thinking about is how you are disrupting their sleep and just being selfish and insensitive! You people have to talk about this to reach some kind of compromise that can work for both parties! 

And parents, no matter how much you love your child and how much effort you think you put in, please, take your time to explain these acts as much times as you can! Like how do you expect a child to understand that you spanking them is an expression of love or you denying them what they "want" as against what they "need" is an expression of love? I for one have received the honor of raising a child within those tender year and each time I have to discipline her in any way, I take my time there after to explain to her why I had to and at the end of our talk, I see the visible difference in her countenance to show that she understands that I love her! 

Let's cover up this loophole! I realized this like a year into my marriage and I can't begin to tell you the least of how much that has helped me, especially to become expressive and more sincere and enjoy my marriage in full dose! I'm able to say this or that does not work for me instead of pretending to appreciate and care about what I don't give a hoot about! 

Remember:

-"Can two walk together except they agree?" (Amos 3:3) 

-"...no longer two but one flesh. " ( Matthew 19:6) 

Let's learn to walk together!

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❤, 

Fxafa.